Do you know someone that might need some reminders on how to act decently in shares spaces? This list should be a good warm-up for nudging the grossest of offenders.
- Shhhhh
Be quiet. Seriously. Stop speaking to other people in the bathroom, immediately. We aren’t quietly riding the elevator or eating a salad in the break room; we are in here for a reason. For most people, the bathroom is the one place in the entire office that we get a single moment of silence, and you are the one screwing all of that up talking about your weekend or how cold the building is today. Once that sad excuse for a door closes and locks, you have to at least pretend that we are in a semi-separated location.
- Just get it over with
People are busy and they don’t care if you were here before them. You aren’t going to win this battle. If you are attempting to wait to be completely alone in the bathroom, just know you’re playing a Russian-roulette of hopeful privacy. You can’t get mad if someone comes in to use the bathroom right as the last person left. Nothing is worse than realizing two people who ended up in the stalls next to one another are in an all-out, awkward-silence, wait-it-out-til-the-other-person’s-body-loses, pointless battle.
- Courtesy-flush
If you know ahead of time you are going to make a lot of noise, or you’re on the losing-end of the above scenario, the courtesy-flush would be extremely appreciated. If you’re trying to conserve water, bang around extra hard on the toilet paper holder as you unroll your take. Ladies, make the mini-trash bin on the wall talk like a metal sock-puppet. Whatever noise you make, try to distract other ears from what is actually happening over there.
- Limit Your Bathroom Activities
This bathroom serves one main purpose.
If you have to brush your teeth or put on makeup in there, HURRY UP. This is a workplace bathroom. This area serves hundreds of people a day, day after day. What you do in your home bathroom is different than what you should be doing at work. Golf-clap; you’re extra diligent about your dental health. You have a designated work toothbrush and toothpaste in a plastic baggie in your desk. And to the other chick that doesn’t need a compact and requires the entire, four-sink encompassing workplace bathroom mirror to fix your eyeliner; an uber-golf clap for still caring that much. But you realize what I am doing in here, right? This isn’t a literal prison. Get in and get out. I have no choice but to be in here.
- Do a quick spot-check
For the love of all things holy, check your area before you leave. There’s something about perceived anonymity that causes people to become incredibly lax on self-accountability when leaving a workplace bathroom stall. The next time you go, turn around and do a quick visual run-through of the area. Does it look like it did when you arrived? You never know who may be in there next. If it helps, pretend it’s going to be your mother-in-law.
Even if you are having a bad day, are incredibly busy or are used to being cleaned-up after at home, stop being yucky and super annoying and start being a normal human in your workplace bathroom.
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